No Reservations.

Since when I was young, well probably like few years back I had this dream of travelling around the world and eat. I don't mean the fancy restaurents with fat rich people and waiters sucking up to your wallet I can get that at TGIF...bazing. Anyways, yeah...it's some-what a dream or something that I must do before I go through my mid-life crysis and get a sports car just to feel young.

Ever since I watched Anthony Bourdain on No Reservations, I had that feeling of doing something similar to what he does, not to mention his the most sarcastic bastard you can ever like which makes him twice as awesome. Imagine that, going through a dark back-alley of a popular city only to find that greatest of food and the bestest of crowd to mingle with. Not that language is a barrier, food is THE universal language and guess what...no one sucking up at you, that's three birds with one stone that is, the third bird is in the frying pan by the way.

Imagine travelling to let's say Thailand. Despite the death and shooting and all those screaming and more dying and bullets, it is actually a peaceful country. Though communicating with them takes a little efforts and alot of single hand action and of course a bit of cash on the side...getting those tuk tuk's to the most beautiful location in Bangkok is as easy as switching on the lights. I did not go all the way to Thailand just to eat western and/or japanese food (which sadly I did cause I was hungry), I can get so many of those here. No No, when you go to a country, not native to you, the first thing you ask yourself "Where do we eat?".

Trust me by practicing that, you will further enjoy your vacation and might I add tom yam is about the bestest guilty pleasure on Earth beside the three letter word and Mcdonalds. Oh, can't forget Dunkin Donuts, I would cross a street for that. Now you know why the chicken crossed the street as well.

Sadly, eating food on streets could be tasty, but there's the risk of a nuclear meltdown in your bowels area. You've seen what happen in Chernobyl, it wasn't great..it's not too great. However, let me lend you a comfy hands of mine, eating in a fancy restaurent wouldn't save you from a Chernobyl, likewise, you'd be another Nagasaki. I would know, I experience it, despite the fancy chairs and sexy dressing waitress and stupid trash music I call rap or whatever techno cow dunk.....getting food poisoining is as easy as getting stabbed in China.

Never again, would I eat anything that is medium rare or anything in between. Next time when i eat meat, and if the guy as me how do I want it, Im just going to say burned. They cant argue, I want it burned and black, if its not black then burned it again. AS long as anything rhymes with meat I want it burned and black and taste like gun powder. Although my insides told me that although the meat looks reddish but what the heck...the trash music was messing with my logic.

And know, i shall make my run. Stupid flu and pulsing headaches are a pain in the ass. Time to down another bottle of vanilla cough syrup. Night.